I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
