It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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