what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
