I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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