Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
