I feel like abortions should bother me more
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
