Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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