Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
