With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
