Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
