This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
