It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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