I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
