Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
