when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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