Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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