Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
