is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
