What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
where does the pee come out of this thing
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
