I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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