I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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