Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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