dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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