we have pet lesbian snakes
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
