Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
