i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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