I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
