oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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