no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
