just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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