this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
