Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize