Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
