So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize