i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
