I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
