the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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