Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize