WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize