He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
