Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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