apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
