found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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