I skipped work to stalk him.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize