My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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