Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
