I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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