Dual....:-)
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
