I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
