six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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