Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She even gives head with a lisp.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize