Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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