The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
