her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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