i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
