maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
