Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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