Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
