"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He has the fingertips of a God
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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