i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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