Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
