WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
