you win again, gameday.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
