forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
