We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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