I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
