super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
