omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
