I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
last night I used snow as a chaser
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