I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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