how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
