Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
