well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
