I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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