she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
