there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
