i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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